Slippers

- What with Harry Potter sweeping the world and the sewers, it became a requirement to discuss it here. I must admit to being an avid fan of Wizard School Boy. I watched the movie first, then got drawn into the books; one by one, until there was nothing left to read. In terror at having lost the magic of the first read (and believe me there is magic in the first read) I dabbled in the fanfiction side of things.

Fanfiction is a dirty, dirty art - especially when involving a continual story like Harry Potter. People make a big thing about the continuing thing, presumably hoping that one day that the ever growing up Harry will get dirty with some trampy sloe eyed whitch from the village. Fair enough, it worked for the first four books, but the fifth? Well, by the time fanfictionists have toed through the waters of all the possible things that could happen next, it seemed impossible that JKR could come up with anything original. Which is a bit of a piss take isn't it?

So there I was at the bookshop, towering over a bunch of eager school kids, on the Saturday morning. I'd spent all Friday afternoon at the pub, and had come home too plastered to be capable of driving to the local supermarket where they were holding one of the midnight openings. I was woken at four in the morning by the telephone from a friend who said that the superstore was sold out, but he'd sourced a bookshop that was opening at six with five hundred copies going. I told him great and I'd be over there in an hour. He said he was going to crash - having been up all night - and could I possible buy a copy for him, and six other copies for various friends and relations who he'd promised to deliver books to.

Anyway, the shop assistant comes to the door wearing a bright smile, and starts to go through the routine of unlocking it. The kids around me start getting wildly excited, chanting "HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER!" over and over again, pushing and shoving their way to the front. Being the only adult, and fortunately not knowing any of the kids personally, I felt duty bound to join in both activites. "HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER!", and shoving the little shits out of the way so I could get to the books first. I could see through the glass door a big table in the middle of the shop, loaded with the Harry Potter books. I haven't been this excited since England last won at the rugby.

The door was pulled open, and we crowded in. I dashed for the books - the manic desperation to get to them before any of the snotty kids was overwhelming. But there was a problem! There were two sorts - Adult covers and Children covers. Which to buy? Oh - which to buy? (Remember I had to buy eight of them and my mate hadn't stated a preference for covers.) My mind was made up quickly. The kids were pulling them off the table in a frenzy and if I wasn't careful they'd all be gone. Taking a stack of the children cover ones, and a stack of the adult cover ones in my arms. I hotfooted it to the single line for the till.

It wasn't moving fast enough for my liking, so I shouted, "Chop Chop! Some of us are waiting!" But still I wasn't going forwards. Now, with a stack of books under each of my arms, in addition to the early nature of the time of day, I was beginnning to get slightly tired. I pushed my way to the front, and demanded to know what was up. The poor shop owner was distraught. There was an eight year old, who'd clearly been saving himself for the big day for so long, and had only been given a five pound note by his parents to buy the book with. It clearly wasn't going to be enough enough, and the shopkeeper didn't know how she could break it to the poor kid without upsetting him. Obviously action was called for! Setting my books down on the counter, I picked up the kid's one and put it on top of one of the piles. "I'll buy it for him." I said and winked at the kid, "Christmas comes early eh?"

The shopkeeper smiled happily. It was obviously a perfect solution to the problem.

The kid, who'd been on the verge of tears, looked really happy - making me proud to think that I had done a good and charitable act.

I was happiest. I'd cunningly skipped the rest of the line waiting for the till.

I bought 23 copies of the book this morning. They cost me twelve pounds each, so that's quite a bit of money. I confess I didn't look at the reciept, and put it on the plastic. I'm hoping I'll be able to sell most of them on. My mate came round this afternoon and chose the ones he wanted, and paid me - without commision I might add. And of course there's the one I bought for the kid as well. So that leaves only 14 or 15. I hope someone will buy them....

After all that, I've still got to tell you whether or not I enjoyed the book. I will say more tomorrow, because right now I have more important things to do - eating as a primary concern.
sli 9:17 PM